2016美国名校留学文书游学团最新论文精选

缘起：

每 年那么多学生漂洋过海参观美国大学，Oscar不客气的说很多都只是在游，跟学一点关系都没有。在Information session, 很多国内学生在打盹，江博的学生在认真聆听或者记录；在campus tour，很多国内学生都是无休无止的拍照或者自拍，或者吃东西，江博的学生在聆听，在思考；在书店里，很多国内学生只看衣服和纪念品，江博的学生会找自 己喜欢的书看。晚上在酒店大堂，另外一个游学团的孩子聚在一起打游戏，聊今天和明天的吃饭和购物，我们在旁边分析今天所去学校的录取范文。

如果说未经审视的生活不值得过，那么没有收获的游学不值得去。

前言：

为了帮助学员能真实的发现最fit自己的学校，最深刻的了解自己，Oscar要求所有的学生都要当天参观完学校，参加完文书研讨后立即将自己的思路整理下来. Oscar还要求所有参加information session的同学都要抱着托福听力的目的去认真聆听，同时录音，回去后认真反复收听。

为了鼓励学生创作的热情，江博教育公众号会精选发表，请各位读者读完后，顺手在文末投票鼓励一下这些可爱的Joyboomers（他们在任何场合都是如此彬彬有礼，气质不凡，很好的掩饰了自己的游客身份, 俨然在读学生呢。LOL)

 

文书游学团精选论文

精选论文一号

7.14 DAY 1 PRINCETON & UPPEN
作者：张鑫淼

It was 3:10 am. I forced myself to go to bed again but it didn't work. Normally I didn't know where I was when I woke up but this time, I was in Newark. I was going to...Princeton.

Of course, dream school is just for dream. Those remnants of memory of Princeton were still burning : the lawn, the well-built architectures and the sunshine.

 

When our van passed Princeton's gate, I revealed a happy yet uncertain look. My dream school was in front of me but actually miles away.

 

But for this visit, the most impressive finding was Princeton's representation-- a tiger, my sign of Zodiac. I'm falling in it more because it fits me: couple hardness with softness.
Walking around the campus, we found Information Session Office. The info session was held by a lady who was both humorous but authoritative. To sum up in one sentence, Princeton wants students to elaborate their responses to challenges. Through an analysis of personal essay tonight, I gained some advice of writing an appealing essay: section, flash back and so forth. But the sample essay is elaborated, too. It is about the candidate's process of thinking, which reveals his or her deep dissection of thought.

Then comes U Penn. U Penn is a 'freer' university because it has no fixed barriers around its campus. The info session, to sum up, is one sentence: showing officers your process of thinking and risk-taking. Other details are available on the official website, too.

 

We choose university that fits us.  U Penn is in the heart of Pennsylvania with classic architecture style. It is smaller than Princeton, which means U Penn's building getting closer. Dormmates are from different grades usually.

 

During the campus tour, we got an outline of U Penn campus and got into a hall of Wharton business school. There was an ongoing intense discussion, which delicately presented its academic environment.

 

Despite these, we joined a campus tour. Our guide is an rising sophomore in Wharton Business School, majoring in marketing and finance（Oscar爆料：这是一个英国帅哥,后有靓照）. In him, I see more of the style U Penn needs from students: the enthusiasm to U Penn experience, the expectation of students of themselves and the fitness to this optimistic campus environment.

 

Tonight, we analyzed an essay of U Penn, which was trivial but inspiring. I Was not able to dissect my thoughts but now I got some ideas about how and to what extent to analyze my own thoughts and put them into my story.

So tired.  Hope everything is fine.

 

Oscar点评：鑫淼这篇文章深得今晚分享的宾大梦琪学姐的范文精髓，语言清新，灵动，还带着一丝俏皮，同时具备今天普林斯顿大学AO的机智和宾大AO的热情。再次点赞，期待后面几篇。

 

精选论文二号

作者：郑靳天舒

A brave new day

------"Walking through the dream, I see you."        

 

Having arrived at Princeton, we touched the architectural beauty of the campus, inspired. The cozy lawn carried our wishes for studying there and lying down while the special tranquility silently added solemnity. Familiarity breeds contempt, yet as I came closer and closer to the dream-like campus, no one was able to break my personal appreciation for that.  

 

Not only academic projects and programs, but also extra-curricular opportunities suddenly attracted our attention. Actually, the existence of all those great things resembled the challenging but intriguing environment was ineffably beautiful beyond description in my brain. I took neither recording nor images of the infos because I preferred memories. The speaker talked with a flow of passions and a rather fast speed, accordingly we concentrated for a long time and felt a bit fatigued. （Oscar评：孩子有想法…）

 

Surprisingly and wonderfully, pizzas refreshed our energies. Even without any nap, our eyes shone like diamonds again. Another style of college was right there waiting for us! UPENN, including simultaneously the oldest school history and the best resources, independently stood tall among other members in the Ivy League. The admission officer held a slower but more enthusiastic lecture for his audiences who came from every corner of the world. Nevertheless, mosquito-like as the campus tour guide's sound was, we had to stay as near as possible, or we could hear nothing at all. It was also indubitable to the visual vibration that UPENN brought to us.

 

By analyzing the application sample essays, passionate Oscar and critical Haonan bountifully rendered us listeners their ideas and tips. The tone of the two essays were indeed different as the style of the two colleges were also indeed different. Splendid versus austere, personal versus slightly objective, their narrations to some extent tugged at our heart strings and opened our doors to creativity.

 

Thanks to the visit to Princeton and UPENN, I sincerely hoped to receive admission from them.

 

However, I ultimately wanted a sound sleep rather than a real offer.

 

Oscar点评: 某少儿班学员，本文书团最小成员，手机刷单词SAT单词4秒记录保持者，中文小说连载作者。希望大家都能从上面上面文章能看出来character。那么，这篇文书就是超级成功的。

 

精选论文三号

作者王苏

 

 

精选论文四号

作者：李天琦

 

Day 1 Princeton & U Penn

5 am.
It was a misty morning, but not that cold. Still not recovering from a little jet-lagged, I woke up. Through the window, the New York City was animated with green trees, strolling people and huge mansions. No hot water here, with breakfast simple as some bread and milk, the surrounding rendered me the notice that the American culture was for the uncomplicated.

During the way to Princeton, the timber was interspersed with houses, and I knew such gentle pace of living was what I yearned for. Compared to the architectures at downtown, buildings here in the campus boasted gothic style more or less, peeping out modestly from a clump of trees under the azure sky, which delineated a solemn but also sprightly ambiance. The info session was about an hour; although there was no microphone here, I could hear AO's voice clearly. True, Princeton had high standard criteria, and in a word, the life here is based on independence, challenge and concentration. In order to catch up the next info session in U Penn at 1 pm, we didn't attend the campus tour（a regret） and only grabbed four pizzas for lunch in a hurry(a delightful and delicious surprise).

Afternoon in U Penn, what impressed me most was when the AO talked about ''why us'' essay: as he said that although there are lots of stuff on the website, we should focus more on ourselves, and if students choose ''undecided'', then tell them how undecided you are! Both AOs from Princeton and Penn highlighted the transcript（how challenging your courses are）,  which was regarded as an important indicator to measure students' potential. Campus tour in Penn was great（the first official campus tour I've experienced, which means I couldn't compare it to others）. The tour guide was a sophomore student from Wharton, who was an Englishman; we were attracted because of his exotic accent, for it was British accent rarely heard in US. Both the guide and AO share a pride of Wharton. The last place we went in Penn was its two-floored bookstore with a coffee shop inside; here books and souvenir could be found. It seemed that campus culture was the main melody in modern college life.

Dinner, much better than lunch, was Chinese buffet meal. For now, sitting in the restaurant in US and eating Chinese food, I thought although Chinese food was common food in our daily life, or we called it food, it was totally distinguished to eat Chinese food in US, a kind of feeling of familiarity or nostalgia rising in my heart. On the way back to the hotel, thinking of both Princeton and U Penn, I realized that the main topic of both was ''challenge'', sprawling in a wide field included courses and extra curriculum activities. Then what I should do, what I need to do to fit the requirement, or what kind of person I want to be.

Self-awareness.

After the fulfilling day, we discussed about the application essays from students who attend these two schools. It seemed what we need to do is to find who we are; undoubtedly, two narrators showed their unique personality through whether hobbies or charities, but whatever they did, they whole-heartedly love doing such things. Why am I me？This question crammed my mind every time when I started to write my essay. I just knew from these two essay that the first one, the author loved reading, something she got excited about or depressed about all the time, and that the second one, she knew who she is, or just rebuilt herself from helping others.

True, the very first step to accomplish self-awareness is to seek for yourself by doing what you love doing. Exciting about tomorrow. GN.
 

Oscar点评：这是另外一篇同时从名校招生说明会和夜晚的文书范文分享会吸取了精华的作文，尤其那个SELF-AWARENESS是神来之笔，天琦好样的，大家如果多读几遍，自己就能发现好处。

 

精选论文五号

作者：付昉思

 

So far the two universities we have visited all foregrounded ‘fit’. Diving a little deeper, it is comprehensible that such a phrase can be seen as where you can be seen as well as what you can do as a student. By the same token, fit, aside from meaning how one can contribute to the greater society, as well stands for how one is able to put the services into utilization, say, take them to one’s advantage. Just as the insider in U Penn said, if the already existing student organizations are not enough, a new one could still be initiated. Given the opportunities and the diversity provided on campus, it would be a shame not to pursue one’s passion once it is established. And that is to say, it is pivotal that one fully recognizes where his or her passion lies in, which is totally related to one of the dominating topics in the study of common essay: who I really am, as in my identity. Whether the passion is writing, savoring movies, or aiding others, it does largely contribute to the fashioning of one himself or herself. This impact can be either on the way of thinking or the method of solving problems, which, in turn, are also the factors considered in one’s application somehow. This is so perhaps the application offers a ‘brief window ’ into the students’ lives, and it is through valuing the aforementioned traits of oneself that the A.O.s can round up the picture of a student. Another thing I learned about common essay is simple yet underpinning: being real so that all those details can move the readers. Were the details to be feigned, the whole passage undeniably would not reveal anything about you yourself and thus certainly would not touch the readers. Only through sowing one’s true feeling, say, passions into the passage can be the composers attracting the audience and whereby infiltrating what he or she wants the audience to know into their independent minds. Ultimately I want to state that the moment I prepared myself for recording the info session at U Penn somehow I get a feeling of Déjà vu and its notion of interdisciplinary thinking really is attracting. Hearing the insider illustrating how great it is to be in this university, I felt that even though getting in here is a seriously tough task, the visit I paid here is totally worthwhile for the experience offers a closer look into what it is to be in a first-class college and at the same time accommodates room to ponder on it.

 

Oscar点评：这篇作文从怎么挖掘自己的identity着手，神奇的引出最后一句，这次的文书团意义不仅仅在么知道一流大学什么样，更重要的是自己对此的思考是什么。

 

精选论文六号

作者：原景楠

First time hearing the voice from the Ivy, I found that it's totally a different thing between browsing the school websites and listening to the introduction of the admission officers. Especially after the rambling in the campus, the information session draws you back the fact that how hard working or talent it needs to study in this breath-taking place of academy.

With the long history of the university, Princeton impresses me with her stone structures and green ivy crawling on them which can be seen almost everywhere in the campus. Long history often means long progress of improvement. Just like what the admission officer said, that is an important reason to explain why today's Princeton is one of the best university in America. The pity is that I did not clearly understand what the officer was saying at first because the lack of my communication toward foreigners while practicing my listening skill. The awkwardness has been relieved by the elapse of the time. I roughly knew that the academic requirement to apply for the school, the majors and courses we could choose, the accommodation conditions, the eating choices and so on. The essay of Princeton makes me feel that the author and I are in a different world-he/she has thinks more carefully and deeper than I do and can notice one particular point in daily life and dig into it. I should learn that.

The University of Pennsylvania has been my dream school for three years, or, in Oscar’s word, my dream. First time I knew it is because Caroline, one of the two main characters in Two Broke Girls, often says “I was graduated from Wharton” with pride. After checking on the internet I realized that the Wharton School of Penn is one of the best places to learn business. But this time, the admission officer told us that there are many things more than business classes that Wharton can provide us. This information kindles a hope of me who is not so good at math. Besides, their major of education is excellent. The tour led by a sophomore student in Wharton is great. It let us knew not only more information that the officer did not talk about, but also some tips from the view of a students. And, compared to the ancient campus of Princeton, I prefer the combination style of Penn’ campus, which shows both traditional and modern characteristics.

At the end of the first day of the journey, I have to say that it really will take me to pay more efforts to go into the top 30s universities, needless to say to the Ivy. 

Oscar点评：这么多篇范文里面，这篇是唯一一个从观察，聆听，体会到最后决心的。文章真心不错，决心也着实感人。

 

精选论文七号

作者：金靖

 

 

精选论文八号

作者：李子芊

 

 

精选论文九号

作者：张雨婷

 

Today’s weather was really hazy. Stepping in the campus of Princeton, I felt the sudden rush in my body. The excitement. I never visited this campus before, and though I heard a lot of people mentioned it and tagged the campus as “beautiful”, I never imagined it’s magnificent and delectable to that extent. The bushy trees, the gothic style-buildings, and the cold yet reassuring atmosphere emerged around us all delivered directly to me the feeling of intimacy. During information session, we got the chance to learn a lot about everything in this school. We learned courses, extracurricular, 5 pieces constituted our application material, and so on. It’s a great help for all of us to get to learn first-hand information about Princeton. After a quick meal in car, we arrived at Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. It’s a city that’s purported to be “city of brotherly love”. I felt intimacy and amiableness instantly when I stepped into Penn’s campus. It’s really modern compared with Princeton, yet in between those modern buildings, architecture, I could fell the senses of ancient, of legacy of time. In Franklin field, I saw a lot of odd buildings that erects, conveying the senses of time. The momentous “love” in the turquoise yet vibrant green field gave me the senses of modern again. The interaction of modern and ancient, now and past, appealed to me directly. Walking down the street to bookstore, I felt the feeling of being in New York. Those little houses that erected along each side of street, though compact, indeed gave me the feeling of intimacy and cheerfulness. I loved this place instantly when I felt the senses of Penn, though I have always loved Penn in the past 5 years. With the help of students’ tour and the help of insider’s special insights, we got the chances to learn a lot about student’s body and student’s life. Clubs, residential colleges were all covered by students’ tour guide. Though during info session, the admission officer was elusive all the time, trying to generalize everything and wedding off some of questions that entailed detailed explanation by suggesting audiences or questioner to check websites of Penn, he indeed gave us the sense of “variety” whenever he tried to either speaking of or answering questions. Variety in courses, variety in combination, and even variety in core curricular in each department. “Variety” is what student need when he or she gets his or her education for he or she gets to learn everything in “variety” of field before becoming a integrated person. I really do appreciate this tour, though we didn’t get the chance to see the whole campus. We learned a lot of things that we cannot absorb just by asking alumni or reviewing the school’s websites.

 

After a quick supper, we returned all the way back to Newark from Philadelphia. We learned about either a college Freshman or rising Freshman students’ common application personal statements together in the hall on the first floor. From what Oscar told us, we learned a great sense of how to bringing together many things and how to integrate them into a whole, and so on. We indeed learned a lot today.;-)
 

Oscar点评：雨婷跟所有人不同的地方在于：她爱了宾大已经五年了，所以在听info或者campus tour，还是夜晚分享文书，都能感觉到她的激动。这种激动在这篇文书里面一览无余，所以这是篇成功的作文。