2016年美国名校文书游学团最新日记论文精选

精选日记一号

作者：张鑫淼

'It's a new soundtrack. I could dance to this beat.' This is New York, a city updates every second. There's a force magically driving people' hearts pumping, just like the impact music has on.

Today, we got out of the grasp of any university, stepping into the city. Last time I visited the Statue of Liberty was 5 years ago. What impressed me was its size and status as the landmark of America. But as my knowledge accumulates, the Statue of Liberty is not just a country representation anymore. It is a spirit, inspiring every nerve to the beat. It reminds me a movie that a group of refugees’ ship in the ocean with less and less hope. But 'America', i）s the shout that a man who saw the Statue of Liberty uttered, mixing surprise, excitement, relighting hope and dream（Oscar注解： Legend of 1900 《海上钢琴师》.  That's true. This spirit reveals their rapid pace of lives and their warm hearts to everyone and their optimism of dreams. It is a symbol of freedom, charging every citizen in New York. That's a spirit that the city gives to itself, unique and encouraging.

I have never encountered a city introducing to visitors itself by depiction of and reflection on big events: 911, typhoon and so on. Compared to it, other cities explain more of history and politics and celebrities involved. But obviously, New York City lays emphasis on citizen unity. That is, city is composed of every fragment of human entity, pieces of a big mechanism. Now I probably get that some people who really want to move to New York, not because of glowing life, but of the spirit to be one of New Yorkers, to be brave, responsible, loving and persistent.

 

Life is short yet long. Sometimes we just have no idea what to do, but New York 'has been waiting for you' all the time.

 

Two cited sentences are from song of Taylor Swift -- Welcome to New York.

 

 Oscar点评：

从歌词着手，就是这么巧妙，加入自己思考，美得不要不要。

 

上篇Oscar点评：

鑫淼跳出学校的外观，学校的师资，学校的常规数据，直接用自己一直疑问的一个问题切入，然后提出自己的想法。这个新的角度Oscar大力赞成，但是最主要的是自己的claim，一定要突出，要反复想着办法去强调 。

精选日记二号

作者：郑靳天舒

 

Just like fire

------Live, love, and laugh.

Written by Anna

I saw fire in New York.

 

Approaching the Statute of Liberty, we joked that it should be called "Free Woman". How humorous we were!

 

The vessel sightseeing brought us an entire recognition of New York and a spectacular view of such a modern city in which lofty buildings existed everywhere. Oscar was seemingly excellent at photography, for he frequently took pictures for us teenagers: he and his own passions were burning like flamboyant fireworks.

 

Many of us airdropped images with each other while eating fried chicken(Oscar注：POPEYES!) as speedy lunch, the lemonade tea was just so great! Probably we felt any drinking good on account of exceeding thirst. I suddenly had a nostalgia for Starbucks' new coffee.

 

Without essays' discussion or on-campus visit, we looked much better. Talking freely about everything, we spent a pleasant and relaxing afternoon together.

 

There was nothing too remarkable to recollect, because all was well and just like fire which jumped high and went far, magnificent and memorable.

 

Oscar点评：

女神手中的火照亮人生的方向，也可以用来烤鸡。这是Oscar对这篇文章最精彩的总结，哈哈。

 

上篇Oscar点评:

天舒有一个显而易见的长处就是她能迅速把自己听到看到的，立即加以思想的加工，然后自然的流露于笔尖。因为是为自己的文书积累素材，所以文章是比较自由的随笔写法，由校园到凯风学长的文书分享，但是到结尾又自然的收拢于dream 和reality的关系，巧妙的呼应了主题。GOOD JOB.

 

作者介绍：

某少儿班学员，本文书团最小成员，手机刷单词SAT单词3.8秒记录保持者，独立运营中文小说连载公众号 。

 

精选日记三号

作者:王苏

 

The ship was about to depart from the port. Passengers flocked to the deck, hoping to find a vantage point to take photos, as it was heading for the landmark of NYC, the statue of Liberty. I stood on the deck too, unaffected by the zealotry: I’ve seen this before, nothing to be excited about.

 

Sailing in the vast body of water, Upper New York Bay, the ship swayed with the waves. Suns（Oscar注：妙!） were hot on the land, but winds ran through on water, bringing coolness and rich senses. I was observing the amazing scenery around me, when I captured something slight but familiar, mixed in the newly aroused excitement and fascination.

 

What’s that? There must be some information in the air.

 

[System Initializing…]

 

[Analyzing…]

 

Yes, the smell. Covered by loads of other senses, it still managed to find me, as if we were close friends in the old days. It was just like my memories, scattered, deeply buried, but profoundly connected with me. What could that smell be? Where else had I felt about it?

 

[Analyzing…]

 

Ah. It belongs to the river, and, seemingly, only to Hudson River. Let’s call it the “Hudson River Smell”.

 

That was the exact fragrance I sensed 12 years ago on the wharf the Riverside Park. Now it’s like a messenger, taking me back through time.

 

[Processing…]

 

I then flew into the memory section of all those memories, which were popping out like bubbles with scenes on it. Reality was gradually replaced by expanding scenes of past.

 

I recall a picturesque dusk in the park. I was sprinting down the entrance slope, passing bushes where crickets play symphonies and fireflies glow like stars in the night sky. Lights were lit up as it was getting dark, but the descending sun was making splendor upon the water. Shiny waves padded the wharf gently and rhythmically, the aroma filling the tranquil air. Summer night breeze carried it away while people were treading down the wooden boardwalk. Some people were jogging along the boardwalk besides the river, whereas others playing tennis or squash in the court under the overpass. Everyone enjoyed their time.

 

Ineffable. Truly ineffable.

 

Familiar smells remind me of my past, telling me that stories never fade, but instead engraved and remain vivid in my mind. They are always accessible, serving as the source of tranquility.

 

Now I can see the Statue of Liberty, with the same position for decades. Her torch still illuminates.

 

“How are you doing in the past 12 years, huh?”

 

Oscar评语：

王苏这个小精灵啊，你永远不知道他的思想里有密如蛛网一样的通道，链接过去、现在和未来，链接高山，城市和大海。

 

 

精选日记四号

作者：李天琦

 

Day 3 Time Square & Woodbury Outlets

 

I'm gonna make a brand new start - in old New York, and if I can make it there; I'm gonna make it anywhere; it up to you New York, New York, New York……

 

Every time, when I hear Frank's New York, New York, I will always be intoxicated, not only for the fascinating melodies from last century’s jazz music of Broadway, but for the inveterate love of this city.

 

Watching through the window, I notice that although the subways, bicycles or cars become the main transportations for modern people and the road for cars are broader than before, no one can stop New Yorkers walking on the streets， their steps brisk and confident. It is New York that spreads its own spiritual, which influences surroundings in a subtle way.

 

The Statue of Liberty, standing in New York Harbor, embodies the spiritual of freedom. Taking a cruise to visit it, I felt the onshore weeds stroking people's face.

 

Through the statue, I see a crowd of people desiring to succeed, thirsting for high status with their efforts, dying for a haven without encroachment; they leave where they belong, move to this unacquainted land, and hope to start a new life. It is New York, which harbors people from all over the world without exception: everyone embracing New York brings love and exultation, everyone taking breath away by New York takes the sights from young adventurer, and everyone gathering here has his or her own spark.

 

Be it the Wall Street or the Time Square, the only thing that it does not lack is people. New Yorkers are elegant with the cold but carefree, busy but able to appreciate the beauty of life, sometimes non-mainstreams but unwonted serious. Narrow streets with towering buildings, it's hard to see the azure sky, in which the prosperous area make people feel oppression. There are lots of Chinese companies' advertisements, and when I see them, it seems a kind of feeling rising inside of me: affinity. But, why we seek for those things that relate to us, I've been thinking this question for whole day: why we go into raptures when we see something that has some connections to us in a place that is unfamiliar.

 

The sense of belongingness.

 

For New York, the appetizing apple, its true charisma is uncertain and ambiguous. No one knows if he or she should live here, because they only listen to the arrangement from god. Everyone can be a success; everyone can be a loser. She tantalizes people's ambitions, but rendering people unable to stop. One can see elites walking busily through streets and begin a legendary romantic with a briefest beautiful encounter; one can see golden-collar gentry wearing costly suits and passers-by sitting to have a cup of a coffee leisurely to enjoy life. It is New York, people living here enjoys richness and colorful life.

 

What is New York? The city that never sleeps!

 

Oscar点评:

纽约人的生活，精神和气质是本文的重点，但是如果多花点时间，文章的主线能更清晰，need some improvement to become a great essay, although already a great journal.

 

上篇Oscar点评：

这篇文书最精彩的是天琦能从soul入手，就抓住了每所学校的本质，那么why essay就能脱颖而出。

然后天琦又自然想到自己文书的进展和需要尝试的新鲜思路，这是Oscar尤其开心的，因为这也是文书游学团最精彩的目的之一。

 

上上篇点评：

足以证明天琦是另外一个善于镜像切入，剧本式写法的同学，尤其那个BEYOURSELF是神来之笔，天琦好样的，你如果多读几遍，自己就能发现经过提升之后你的文书中的一些妙处。【上一篇点评：这是另外一篇同时从名校招生说明会和夜晚的文书范文分享会吸取了精华的作文，尤其那个SELF-AWRENESS是神来之笔，天琦好样的，大家如果多读几遍，自己就能发现好处。】

 

精选日记五号

作者：付昉思

 

‘Concrete jungles where dreams are made’, perhaps one the most famous lyric glorifying New York, depicts the exact scenario in which in the skyscrapers embedded is the city, especially Manhattan, ethnically diverse people are galvanized to strive for themselves. Some may find New Yorkers haughty through all those articles and lyrics. That being said, not only are them approachable but the proud ， warranted by the city.

 

Serving as a hub of the world’s economics, NY city accommodates a plethora of opportunities for those pushing themselves to become elitists in the relevant fields, the Wall Street being a pillow in dominating the world’s economics. It is for this reason that people worldwide yearn for working in NY city, thus fashioning perhaps the most international city in the world. Myriads of people shuttle between Manhattan and other parts of the city every day, an ordinary scene in an ordinary day of New York city. Meanwhile, NYU and Columbia University keep churning out elitists in varying fields for the city.

 

What I am impressed by NY city is precisely its flow（Oscar附图一张）: mainly the ambience aroused due to the diversification, the recognition of the identity of being a New Yorker as well as the attitude residents take on. Given the experience of working or studying in this hodgepodge, it is no wonder that people from NY city can never get rid of the attachment to it. I myself have beheld books outlining what it feels like to live in New York city, and found people who have stayed in New York exhibiting sense of belonging to the city. I do regard all the factors mentioned above as reasons why NY plays an irreplaceable role in shaping their characteristics, the way the think and how the solve problems.

 

Recognizing these elements, a conclusion can be drawn that it is attributed to the fact that students from NYU and Columbia University grasps all those chances lying in NYC that they maximize the advantages of studying in NYC. Were NYC not to go through diversification, it certainly would not be renowned as it is now.

 

Oscar点评：

付昉思这篇是最严格按照test formula写的，结构清晰，层次分明，但是感觉有点拘束，没有那种洒脱感，需要再往心里挖掘一下纽约打动你你你的是什么。

 

上篇Oscar点评：

Fangsi，you observe and notice some subtlety of life and put it to your own use, such as the Prairie stuff. But you need to improve the fluidity of your essay and obviously you are hurdled by some antique SAT or ACT GRAMMAR RULES. LOL

 

上上篇点评：

Fangsi, you never fail to amaze me with visible improvement. This essay moves me so much that I found Chinese incapable to express my delightful surprise. I am so touched by your deft demonstration of logical analysis and fluid reasoning in texturing the whole passage. Good boy, indeed good. Can’t wait to see your next essay.

 

 

精选日记六号

作者：原景楠

 

 

Oscar点评：

景楠让人印象深刻的谈起了游船上的广播，还提出了自己的看法和观点。This is really amazing, if not awesome. 也欢迎大家都提出自己的看法，好消息就是我完整录了整个游船上的波音，主要是被那浑厚的男声所吸引，拿来做托福听力练习的haha。如果有需要完整自由女神游船广播词的请留言，绝对是美国历史小助手。

 

精选日记七号

作者：金靖

 

How to get to know each other in a quick way? How to show your interest on something other people who are strangers to what you are talking about? How to start up a conversation in a new environment and fit in? The answer varies from people to people. In fact, traveling with some people unfamiliar to me made the journey somehow a little bit odd and indisposed, but it also developed the skill of communication and the ability of self-dependence.

 

I was anxious about making friends with students older than me. Would they treat me like a kid or feeling disappointed when they talk to me? We were not acquainted before and we didn't talk much. The situation used to happen when I was in every kindergarten I attended. Mom would kiss me on my face and talk to the teacher.

"Promise me you will be well-behaved. Listen to the teacher carefully, and I would pick you up at night, maybe later..."

 

She would then turn to the teacher, expressing her gratitude and then walking to the gate without looking at me one more time.

 

Same thing happened when she said goodbye in the airport.

 

Just like every movie, the protagonist would find herself in trouble and then try to work it out, those kind of movies are called "Movies you should grab some cracknel and all the characters are stupid and the world around them is easy and you don't need to think because it would always be an happy ending". And to be honest, I love those movies. As the heroine in the movie only named by "J's life in the real big world", I just don't know weather it's going to be an happy ending or not. But something happens, then things turned to be better.

 

Living together made a huge progress between the relationship of me and my roommates. When we watched the TV program of making delicious food, we found that we have the same taste of food. Both of us started to miss the spicy Chinese food... It was easy to develop the relationship between roommates by talking, especially talking about food!

 

Then I realized that communication wasn't that difficult; you just need to observe for some time, then you would understand everyone's interest and character. Keep quiet in the first several days, only nod and laugh when someone is talking. And then just don't be shy.

 

Someone would ask, why communication matters? They consider that staying alone could make their views more subjective and self-governed. But I believe the world changes because the ideas， like fireworks，were ignited by communication. Some invention came from a small talk at a café in the corner of the streets. Some great big idea was born in one garage session. Communication shortens the distance between heart and heart.

 

After all, I realized it could be easy in the real big world, you could make yourself slow down, you don't need to think, you could just buy some cracknel in the market next to your house. Because now you know the skill of communication.

 

Just be yourself, write your own script. All of us could find a role to play, such as Oscar would be a leader who is both facetious and sagacious（Oscar表示很懵逼）. Thanks for acting in my movie!

Our lives overlaps by communication. And sometimes it is interesting to talk to foreigners.

 

When I came to the checkout, I found black man standing next to me, and a transparent box in front of him. He explained to me that the collection was for taxes stuff. I reached my pocket to pay and also placed a dollar in the box. The black man was so grateful that he started to talk to me.

"So you're on business or tour?" He asked.

"Just traveling."

"Where you guys come from? Japan or..maybe， China?"

"All of us are Chinese."

"Oh it's cool! You know what? When I was a kid, my father kept talking about China, the eastern country. I was like..could you please take me to that place so I could finally see whether it's great like you said before? Then my dad took me there, and I believe everything he said... The place was so beautiful and full of pleasure. Sometime I do wanna go back there once more... It just...It's so inside of me..."

 

The cashier impatiently interrupted, “What do you know about China?"

 

"Well. “the man answered,"A few blocks away, there’s a diner called China Town!T

 

Oscar点评：

结尾大反转啊！！！！！！！！ 难怪说write your own script. All of us could find a role to play，突然感到很庆幸被你写进这篇游记啊…

 

 

上篇Oscar点评：

作为跟普林斯顿王，斯坦福金，哈佛邱，西北陆，哥大张这些学长和学姐同台出席江博高分名校颁奖典礼并且发言的金靖，我一直都高度关注，关注她的思维发展，习惯培养，还有courage to write. 她的照片essay已经说明了一切，尤其是她照片文章里面的anecdote实在巧妙:Oscar猜到了我会在她的文书里面出现，但是没有猜到这种方式。LOL.

 

上上次点评：

金靖，are you that little wonder girl who keeps bringing happiness and hope? Read，read your own works, two at one go,  are you drawing a clearer picture of your own image?  As you add one or two strokes and then stand back, look at your own unfinished work from a distance, can you still contain that strong urge in your heart to bring it out onto paper.   Then keep writing.

 

精选日记八号

作者：李子芊

 

 

 

 

精选日记九号

作者：张雨婷

 

这才是游学，且游且学，而收获的却是思想。

白天我们参观学校，晚上在酒店里面我们热火朝天讨论所访问学校的文书题目和范文。