男女恋爱法则：什么时候第一次说“我爱你”

　　There are milestones in every relationship: becoming “exclusive,” moving in together and getting married are all momentous steps to take.

　　每一段男女关系都有自己的里程碑：成为对方的“唯一”、同居以及结婚都是重要的步骤。

　　But another big one is the first saying of “I love you.”

　　但另一个重要节点是第一次说“我爱你”。

　　Whilst we love our mums, dogs and halloumi, being in love with someone is something else, and saying it to your boyfriend or girlfriend for the first time can be very nerve-wracking.

　　与我们爱我们的妈妈、狗和哈罗米芝士相比，和某人相爱是另一种爱，并且第一次对你的男朋友或女朋友说我爱你时，你可能会感到非常的紧张。

　　What if they don’t feel the same way? What if you scare them off? What if they reply with “thank you”? “shudders”

　　如果他们没有同样的感觉呢?如果你把他们吓跑了呢?如果他们的回答是“谢谢”怎么办?“颤栗”的不敢想象。

　　It’s a cringe-worthy prospect and can leave you feeling vulnerable.

　　当然这样的结果令你尴尬，也会让你受到伤害。

　　So how do you know when is the right time to say those three little words?

　　那你怎么知道什么时候说出这三个小单词?

　　One woman recently posed the dilemma in a Mumsnet forum: “I think my new boyfriend wants to say it but doesn’t want me to not say it back, so he seems to be saying it in a jokey way or a roundabout way recently,” she wrote.

　　一位女性最近在一个妈咪网论坛上提出了这个难题：“我想我的新男友想说我爱你，也想让我以同样的态度回复他，所以他最近似乎一直在用滑稽或迂回的方式来表达，”她写道。

　　She said they’d been “official” for two months but have been dating for four to five, and asked other women to share their experiences.

　　她说他们确定关系两个月了，但已经约会了四到五次，并要求其他女性分享她们的经历。

　　From the first date to a year, stories varied wildly.

　　从第一次约会到相处一年，两人故事变化很大。

　　And although many people say you can’t possibly fall in love with someone straight away, some women who did so revealed their relationships have lasted years.

　　尽管很多人说你不可能马上爱上某人，但那些没有说过我爱你的女性却发现她们实际上已经坠入爱河好多年。

　　One told her boyfriend she loved him after “about a week or two” of dating. And, she added, they’ve now been together for 11 years.

　　其中一个人告诉她的男友，她在约会后的一两个星期就爱上了他。她补充说，他们已经在一起11年了。

　　Another woman uttered the L-word three weeks in, they’ve now been together for five and a half years and are getting married this autumn.

　　另一个女人在三周前才说过我爱你，实际上她们在一起已经五年半了，并且今年秋天就要结婚了。

　　She wisely added: “There’s no magic date because each couple is unique and special and will do it at different times. Enjoy the moment when it happens.”

　　她明智地补充道:“没有什么神奇的约会，因为每对情侣都是独一无二的，而且会在不同的时间说我爱你，并享受那一刻。”

　　And this is what most psychologists advise too.

　　当然这也是大多数心理学家的建议。

　　According to Dr Aaron Ben-Zeév, there’s no precise formula for when to say “I love you,” “you should say it whenever you feel that way, without making too many calculations about timing.”

　　根据亚伦本.艾杰夫博士的说法，当你说“我爱你”时，并没有精确的公式，“当你有这样的感觉时，你应该去说，而不需要过多地去计算时间。”

　　As life goes on, you may even cease to think about it as a big deal at all - one woman who’s been with her now husband for 20 years said she couldn’t even remember when they dropped the L-bomb.

　　随着生活的继续，你甚至可能不再去想这是一件大事—一位已经结婚20年的女人说，她甚至不记得他们什么时候说的我爱你。

　　So don’t stress, just say it when you feel you want to.

　　所以不要紧张，当你想要说的时候就大胆说出来。