英国人怎么说：择偶该以人品为标准还是金钱为标准？

　　Nabbing a wealthy husband might seem like an outdated dream.

　　钓个金龟婿似乎看起来已经过时了。

　　But one Mumsnet user asked whether women should still be encouraged to ’marry well’ and find a man who earns enough to support the family financially.

　　但是Mumsnet(英国著名育儿网站)一名用户最近问到，是否仍然应该鼓励女性“嫁得好”，找一个挣钱足够多可以养家的人。

　　The question divided opinion. Some said ’marrying well’ should not mean finding a rich man but rather a partner who is ’kind and clever with a strong work ethic’ while others warned it was ’idealistic’ to think all women can be financially independent.

　　人们对这个问题的分歧很大。一些人表认为“嫁得好”不应找一个有钱的男人，而是应该找一个“善良、聪明、有良好的职业道德”的人;而另一些人则警告称认为所有女性都可以经济上独立是“不切实际的”。

　　Taking to the online forum, Mumsnet user windygallows, who is in her 40s, said she could see the way some of her friends benefited from having a wealthy husband. It allowed them to be stay-at-home mothers without the financial worries.

　　在Mumsnet上提问的是一个40多岁的女性“windygallows”，她说她看到自己一些朋友嫁个有钱丈夫之后得到了很多好处。这使得她们可以待在家里做全职妈妈，而不用担心财政上的问题。

　　She explained that as a single mother she had experienced first-hand the ’slog’ of raising a child on one salary, adding: ’Marrying well doesn’t mean a good marriage or relationship but it does make things easier.’

　　她解释说，作为一个单身妈妈，她亲身经历了用一个人的薪水抚养一个孩子的“艰辛”，她说道：“嫁得好并不一定意味着良好的婚姻和关系，但是的确能让事情轻松不少。”

　　She also argued that speaking to daughters about ’marrying well’ was a ’realistic’ way to tackle the problem.

　　她还认为，与女儿谈论“嫁得好”是解决这一问题的“现实”方式。

　　The post sparked dozens of responses. One user said looking for a wealthy partner would help deal with the ’sad truth’ that even those who work hard can struggle financially.

　　这篇帖子引来了数十个回复。一名用户表示称，找一个有钱丈夫的确有助于应对这个“可悲的真相”——即使那些努力工作的人金钱上也不宽裕。

　　So you need family money. And if you haven’t got it, life will be easier if you find someone who has,’ the user wrote.

　　这位用户写道：“你需要钱来养家，而如果你自己挣不到，找个能挣钱的人生活就会简单许多。”

　　Another pointed out that her husband’s salary had helped her maintain a good lifestyle even after she became disabled and could no longer work.

　　另一名用户则表示，虽然她成为残疾人不能够再工作，但是她丈夫的薪水还是帮她维持了不错的生活。

　　The user wrote: ’Very fortunately my [husband] is in the top 0.1% of earners so yes I have this disability which impacts hugely on my life; but I am lucky I do not have to think about money and my life would without question be very, very hard as I am not able to earn.’

　　这名用户写道：“非常幸运的是，我丈夫是收入最高的那0.1%中的人。所以虽然残疾严重影响了我的生活，我却很幸运不用考虑钱的问题，而我的生活也不会因为我无法挣钱而变得非常非常艰难。”

　　However other users blasted the ’anti-feminist view’. Several pointed out that marrying rich does not guarantee stability or happiness.

　　然而其他用户抨击了这一“反女权主义观点”。有人指出嫁给有钱人并不能保证稳定和幸福。

　　One posted: ’50 per cent of marriages end in divorce and it’s the SAHMs [stay at home mothers] who end up with the most shitty deals in the world when their husbands swan off with an OW [other woman].

　　有人回复称：“50%的婚姻最终以离婚为结局，而当她们丈夫移情别恋时，提出结束这段婚姻的正是那些待在家里无所事事的母亲们。”

　　’Instead, women need to be financially independent and refuse to give up that independence to become dependent on their husband.’

　　“相反，女性需要经济独立，而不应放弃这一独立依附于她们的丈夫。”

　　Others said ’marrying well’ should focus on personal qualities, not a bank balance.

　　另外一些人则表示“嫁得好”应该关注的是对方的人品，而不是银行账户。

　　Parents of sons also weighed in, saying they would not want their children to marry a woman who wanted to be ’bankrolled’. One posted: ’The idea of someone marrying him for money makes my blood run cold.’

　　男孩儿的父母们也加入了辩论，纷纷表示他们不会让自己的孩子娶一个把丈夫当作“提款机”的女人。其中一位家长写道：“一想到有人嫁给我的儿子只是为了钱，我的心就凉了。”