来自哈佛大学的5道思考题，让我学会了如何生活

　　很多时候，人们在忙忙碌碌的生活中，逐渐地丢失了自己的方向，一些原本清晰的人生目标也开始变得渐渐模糊。

　　在大学生活中，同学们会面临类似的问题：如何能让自己的大学生活按照自己刚入学时的计划走下去，如何能让自己的大学生活变得更好?

　　在哈佛大学，学校的老师和同学们为了能解答心中的疑惑，组建了一个研讨会来反思自己的生活。

　　而在研讨会中，又有5个问题，让大家感觉最有启发、最能引起自己的共鸣。

　　下面就和小编来看看这5个问题吧，相信这5个问题一定能让你对生活产生不一样的思考。

　　James Yang for The New York Times

　　假如你可以当一天的大学学院院长。你会做出哪一项可操作的改变，从而提升校园生活的体验?

　　我问学生这个问题已经有很多年了。答案真让人大开眼界。从几年前开始，学生们的回答渐渐不再是「调整历史课程」或「改变实验室的结构」。一种截然不同的态度出现了，关注的是如何学会明智地生活。

　　怎样才算是好的生活?怎样才算是有成效的生活?怎样才算是幸福的生活呢?如果这些答案彼此冲突，我将如何看待这些观念?如何利用我的大学时光为这些棘手的问题逐渐找到答案?

　　最近，一些学校开始为学生提供机会来解决这些问题。在我的学校哈佛大学里，一小群教师和院长创建了一个不计入学分的研讨会，名为「反思你的生活」(Reflecting onYour Life)。它的形式很简单：以12名一年级学生为一组，由教师、顾问或院长带领，进行三次90分钟的讨论会。每年有超过100名学生参加。

　　下面有五个练习，是学生们觉得特别有吸引力的。每个练习都旨在帮助新生识别自己的目标，系统地反映他们个人生活中的各个方面，并将他们的发现与他们在大学里实际所做的事情联系起来。

　　1. 一份清单

　　第一个练习，我们要求学生列一份清单，说明他们希望自己的大学时光是如何度过的。什么事情对于你来说很重要?

　　可能是上课、学习、花时间与亲密的朋友相处，也许是在校外小区做义工，或是阅读课外书。

　　然后我们要求学生列出他们在过去一周内平均每天实际是如何使用时间的，并对两份清单进行比较。

　　最后，我们提出了这个问题：你实际上所花费的时间与你的目标是否相符?

　　有些学生发现自己的两份清单之间有很大的重迭。但大多数人并非如此。他们发现自己花费了大量的宝贵时间，用来做他们其实认为并不重要的活动，并且为此感到震惊和不安。

　　这里的挑战是如何调整自己对时间的使用，使之符合你的个人信念。

　　2. 怎么度过业余时间

　　决定一项主修课程的困难程度可能令人惊讶。

　　我们小组里的一个学生很难在政府课程和科学课程之间做出选择。她是怎么度过业余时间的?她描述了自己在政治学院的活跃表现，担任模拟联合国的负责人，定期在《政治评论》(The PoliticalReview)上发表文章。

　　讨论主持人指出，她在自己的总结里没有提到「实验室」这个词。

　　「实验室?」这个学生显得一脸难以置信的样子。「谈论业余时间的时候为什么要提到实验室?」

　　会后半小时，这位主持人收到她的电子邮件，感谢他提出这个问题。

　　3. 广度对深度

　　这一项练习被我称为「广度对深度」。

　　你是希望极度擅长某一件事，还是比较擅长很多件事?

　　我们请学生思考如何组织自己的大学生活，从而坚定地走上自己选择的道路。

　　4. 25个词

　　在核心价值练习中，我们给学生们看一张纸，上面大概写了25个词，包括「尊严」、「爱」、「声名」、「家庭」、「优秀」、「财富」和「智慧」。

　　我们让他们圈出最能描述他们核心价值的五个词。

　　然后，我们问，如果你的核心价值相互冲突，你可能会如何应对?

　　学生们觉得这个问题特别难回答。一个学生提出了自己的难题：他想当外科医生，但也想有个大家庭。所以他的核心价值包括「有用」和「家庭」。

　　他说，他很怀疑自己能否同时做一名成功的外科医生和一名专注的父亲。

　　这个例子学生们讨论了很长时间，因为很多人觉得自己面临类似的挑战。

　　5. 一个寓言

　　这项练习给出了一个寓言故事：一名快乐的渔夫在一个小岛上过着简单的生活。他每天花几个小时捕一点鱼，卖给朋友们，剩下的时间跟妻儿共享天伦之乐或者小睡。他一点都不想改变自己放松自在的生活。

　　我们把这个寓言稍微改一下：一名刚毕业的工商管理硕士探访了这个小岛，很快就看出这名渔夫能如何致富。他可以捕更多鱼，开个公司，推销鱼，开个罐头厂，甚至可以上市。最终他会变得非常成功。他可以把鱼捐给世界各地饥饿的孩子，甚至可以挽救生命。

　　「然后呢?」渔夫问道。

　　「然后你可以花很多时间陪伴家人，」这名游客回答说。「但是，你可以给这个世界带来不同。你可以发挥自己的才华，喂饱一些贫穷的孩子，而不是整天无所事事。」

　　我们让学生们把这个寓言运用到自己生活中。对你来说，什么更重要?是拥有很少的财富，从传统意义上讲不是很成功，但是轻松愉快，有时间陪家人?还是努力工作，也许开个公司，甚至可能在这个过程中让世界变得更美好?

　　通常，这个简单的寓言故事会引发非常不同的意见。

　　这些讨论鼓励本科一年级学生思考对他们来说什么是真正重要的东西，我们每个人感觉自己对身边社区可能亏欠或不亏欠的东西——这些想法可以让学生们在整个大学期间受益。

　　课程结束后，我对我的小组说：「跟我说一个你今年改变主意的事例」，很多回答反映出深层次的反思。

　　三年后，我们回访这些参与者时，几乎所有人都报告称，那些讨论很有价值，有助于让大学成为一段转折性的经历——大学本来就该是这样。

　　英文原文

　　Imagine you are Dean for a Day. What is one actionable change you would implement to enhance the college experience on campus?

　　I have asked students this question for years. The answers can be eye-opening. A few years ago, the responses began to move away from “tweak the history course” or “change the ways labs are structured.” A different commentary, about learning to live wisely, has emerged.

　　What does it mean to live a good life? What about a productive life? How about a happy life? How might I think about these ideas if the answers conflict with one another? And how do I use my time here at college to build on the answers to these tough questions?

　　A number of campuses have recently started to offer an opportunity for students to grapple with these questions. On my campus, Harvard, a small group of faculty members and deans created a noncredit seminar called “Reflecting on Your Life.” The format is simple: three 90-minute discussion sessions for groups of 12 first-year students, led by faculty members, advisers or deans. Well over 100 students participate each year.

　　Here are five exercises that students find particularly engaging. Each is designed to help freshmen identify their goals and reflect systematically about various aspects of their personal lives, and to connect what they discover to what they actually do at college.

　　1. For the first exercise, we ask students to make a list of how they want to spend their time at college. What matters to you? This might be going to class, studying, spending time with close friends, perhaps volunteering in the off-campus community or reading books not on any course’s required reading list. Then students make a list of how they actually spent their time, on average, each day over the past week and match the two lists.

　　Finally, we pose the question: How well do your commitments actually match your goals?

　　A few students find a strong overlap between the lists. The majority don’t. They are stunned and dismayed to discover they are spending much of their precious time on activities they don’t value highly. The challenge is how to align your time commitments to reflect your personal convictions.

　　2. Deciding on a major can be amazingly difficult. One student in our group was having a hard time choosing between government and science. How was she spending her spare time? She described being active in the Institute of Politics, running the Model U.N. and writing regularly for The Political Review. The discussion leader noted that she hadn’t mentioned the word “lab” in her summary. “Labs?” replied the student, looking incredulous. “Why would I mention labs when talking about my spare time?” Half an hour after the session, the group leader got an email thanking him for posing the question.

　　3. I call this the Broad vs. Deep Exercise. If you could become extraordinarily good at one thing versus being pretty good at many things, which approach would you choose? We invite students to think about how to organize their college life to follow their chosen path in a purposeful way.

　　4. In the Core Values Exercise, students are presented with a sheet of paper with about 25 words on it. The words include “dignity,” “love,” “fame,” “family,” “excellence,” “wealth” and “wisdom.” They are told to circle the five words that best describe their core values. Now, we ask, how might you deal with a situation where your core values come into conflict with one another?

　　Students find this question particularly difficult. One student brought up his own personal dilemma: He wants to be a surgeon, and he also wants to have a large family. So his core values included the words “useful” and “family.” He said he worries a lot whether he could be a successful surgeon while also being a devoted father. Students couldn’t stop talking about this example, as many saw themselves facing a similar challenge.

　　5. This exercise presents the parable of a happy fisherman living a simple life on a small island. The fellow goes fishing for a few hours every day. He catches a few fish, sells them to his friends, and enjoys spending the rest of the day with his wife and children, and napping. He couldn’t imagine changing a thing in his relaxed and easy life.

　　Let’s tweak the parable: A recent M.B.A. visits this island and quickly sees how this fisherman could become rich. He could catch more fish, start up a business, market the fish, open a cannery, maybe even issue an I.P.O. Ultimately he would become truly successful. He could donate some of his fish to hungry children worldwide and might even save lives.

　　“And then what?” asks the fisherman.

　　“Then you could spend lots of time with your family,” replies the visitor. “Yet you would have made a difference in the world. You would have used your talents, and fed some poor children, instead of just lying around all day.”

　　We ask students to apply this parable to their own lives. Is it more important to you to have little, be less traditionally successful, yet be relaxed and happy and spend time with family? Or is it more important to you to work hard, perhaps start a business, maybe even make the world a better place along the way?

　　Typically, this simple parable leads to substantial disagreement. These discussions encourage first-year undergraduates to think about what really matters to them, and what each of us feels we might owe, or not owe, to the broader community — ideas that our students can capitalize on throughout their time at college.

　　At the end of our sessions, I say to my group: “Tell me one thing you have changed your mind about this year,” and many responses reflect a remarkable level of introspection. Three years later, when we check in with participants, nearly all report that the discussions had been valuable, a step toward turning college into the transformational experience it is meant to be.