别让不好意思毁了你！学一学拒绝别人的9个技巧

　　学会拒绝非常重要，下面这9个技巧可以帮助我们，了解怎样拒绝别人。

　　1. Be clear of your vision

　　明确自己的愿景

　　Think about what your vision is: be it for your life, for your career, for your relationships, or for that particular situation you are dealing with. Once you know it, it’ll be extremely easy to say no, because now you have a clear reason to do so. The clearer you are (of your vision), the easier it will be to say no, because now you will know what you want to say yes to.

　　想想自己的愿景：无论是生活、事业、人际关系还是正在处理的具体情况。一旦清楚了自己期望的愿景，拒绝就会变得容易，因为有了明确的理由。对自己的愿景越明确，越容易说“不”，因为清楚自己想要说“是”的东西。

　　2. Know the implications of saying yes

　　明白同意的影响

　　We normally say yes to the little requests streaming in because it may seem like a small deal. Yet, these little moments pile up over time to become big clogs.

　　我们通常会对源源不断地小请求说“是”，因为这可能看起来像是小问题。帮个小忙似乎没什么问题，也花不了多少时间。然而，随着时间的推移，这些小问题会堆积起来。

　　Whenever you get a request, think twice before you say yes or no. What’s going to happen if you say yes to it? What are the long-term implications? What is there to gain? What are you going to lose if you agree? Do you really have to say yes? I believe that time is more precious than money, because while you can earn back money, you can never get back time. Because of that, I really value my time.

　　每当我们收到请求时，回答之前请再三思考。如果答应了会发生什么?长期影响是什么?有什么好处?如果答应了，会失去什么?是不是必须要同意?我们的时间比金钱更宝贵，因为时间永远也赚不回来，所以一定要珍惜自己的时间。

　　3. Realize that saying no is okay

　　意识到拒绝也可以

　　Saying no is okay. We keep thinking that it’s not okay, that the other person will feel bad, that we’re being evil, that people will be angry, that we’re being rude, etc. While these stem from good intentions in us, the thing is most of these fears are self-created. If the person is open-minded, he/she will understand when you say no.

　　拒绝也是可以的。我们总是认为拒绝不好，被我们拒绝的人会难过、生气，我们可能会有点讨厌或者无理了。但其实这些恐惧源于我们内心的善意，事实是，这些恐惧大多是自己造成的。如果对方思想开放，一定会理解我们的拒绝。

　　Saying no is okay and it’s part and parcel of life. People say yes and no all the time every day in this world. So don’t worry about it. Being respectful in your communication is more important.

　　拒绝也是可以的，而且这是生活的一部分。世界上每分每秒都有人在答应和拒绝，所以不用担心，在交流中保持尊重更重要。

　　4. Keep it simple 保持简单

　　Keep it simple – let the person know that you can’t do it, and give a short explanation why you’re saying no. There’s no need to over-explain. If there are certain things which you’re open to discuss/negotiate on, put them up for discussion here.

　　保持简单，让对方知道你做不了，简单解释一下原因。没有必要过分解释。如果有需要讨论或协商的事情，也请一起讨论。

　　5. Be respectful 有礼貌

　　Many don’t say no because they feel it’s disrespectful, however it’s about how you say it rather than the act of saying no. Be respectful in your reply, value the other party’s stance and you’ll be fine.

　　很多人不会说“不”，因为他们觉得这是不礼貌的。但这主要事关拒绝的方式而非拒绝本身。回复的时候要有礼貌，重视对方的立场。

　　6.Provide an alternative if you want

　　提出替代方案

　　If you like, propose an alternative.If you don’t think you’re the right person for the request, then propose someone whom you think is a better fit. If you’re not free to be engaged at the moment but you’d like to be involved, then propose an alternate timing where you are free. If there’s something you think is an issue, then point it out so you can help him/her improve.

　　如果愿意，可以提出替代方案。如果认为自己不是这个请求的合适人选，可以提出一个自己认为更合适的人选。如果有意愿但是现在没时间，可以提议自己有空的时间。如果觉得有什么问题，可以指出来帮助对方改进。

　　7. Make yourself less accessible

　　让自己不容易接近

　　If you face the situation where too many people keep asking you for help and it’s just overwhelming you, make yourself less accessible. Don’t respond immediately to every single request, because it just sends the message that you’re always around all the time for help, which may not be true. Instead， take a longer time to revert, be more concise with your replies, and limit your availability. This way, others will value your time more.

　　如果你面对的情况是太多人不断向自己寻求帮助，变得不堪重负，可以试着让自己不那么容易接近。不要对每一个请求都立即回应，因为这是在传递一个信息，那就是你随时都有时间帮忙，而事实可能并非如此。与花更长时间回复相比，回复应该要更简洁，同时限制自己的可接近性。这样，别人会更珍惜你的时间。

　　8. Delay your response 推迟回复

　　If you’re not keen on the request, delaying your reply is a way of showing lack of interest. By then the other party would know that you are not very keen, and they would not be so persistent in their responses as well.

　　如果你对这个请求不感兴趣，推迟回复也是一种表示不感兴趣的方式。那时，对方就会知道，你不是很感兴趣，也就不会再那么执着。

　　9. Sometimes,

　　no reply is also a form of reply

　　不回复也是一种回复

　　If a particular request isn’t important to you and you’re stretched for time, don’t worry too much about it. Life goes on for everyone. But if the person took some time to write a personal, customized message, it’ll be nice to just send a short note to say no so you don’t leave the person hanging. If you have already said no and the person still persists, then not replying is the way to go.

　　如果某个要求对你来说并不重要，而且你的时间很紧张，不要太担心。每个人的生活都在继续。但是，如果对方花时间专门向你提出请求，简短地拒绝即可，这样也没有把对方晾在一边。如果你已经拒绝了，但是对方仍然在坚持，那么不回复就是最好的解决方法。