给不会撩妹的你些忠告：怎么挑选合适的礼物？

　　I just received the worst Valentine’s Day gifts. It is not because they are not pretty enough, expensive enough or that I absolutely hate them. It is because it bothers me knowing that they look like things my date’s ex-girlfriend would have liked.

　　我刚刚收到了最糟糕的情人节礼物!但是并不是因为这些礼物不够漂亮、太廉价或者是我很不喜欢。而是因为我知道这些礼物是我男友的前女友会喜欢的类型。

　　It was a purse from a designer brand that I consider too girly. Granted, giving flowers, jewelry or designer bags as gifts for special occasions is a safe choice. However, I think the reason he knew better than to get gifts like craftworks is that his exes have taught him. The fact that he chose from these safe options reflects his speculation of what girls would like, a result of his knowledge based on his exes.

　　那是一款名牌手包，但是我却觉得太娘了。诚然，在重要日子里给女方送鲜花、珠宝和名牌包包是一个很保险的选择。但是，我认为他知道给女孩子送这些礼物的原因是因为他前女友已经调教过他了。他之所以会选择这些保险的礼物是因为他揣测了女孩子们的心思——这是他基于对前女友认知的结果。

　　Doesn’t it freak you out that what you’ve received from your better half on Valentine’s Day as a gift, is actually a reflection of his or her ex’s taste? I know I’m unreasonable like a spoiled child, but it bothers me.

　　难道情人节另一半送你的礼物其实是他/她前任喜欢的东西不会让你很生气吗?我知道自己像个被宠坏的孩子一样无理取闹，但是这真的让我很恼火。

　　The moment I asked the question in a WeChat group of my girl friends, messages started to come in like crazy. It turns out everybody had so much to say about the terrible gifts they have received in the past. One of them said the worst gift she has received was chemistry equipment from her high school sweet heart. She said it was a small device which would generate electricity if you put two of its plugs into a banana.

　　当我在女性朋友的微信群里问这个问题的时候，各种各样的回复信息让我应接不暇。事实证明，每个人过去都收到过这样可怕的礼物，说起来真是一言难尽。其中一人说她收到过最糟糕的礼物是她高中男友送她的化学仪器。她说那是一个小装置，把两个插头插进香蕉里就会产生电流。

　　Another girl once received a heart-shaped rock, which was an even worse gift back then because a celebrity involved in a cheating scandal was caught when it was revealed that he gave similar heart-shaped rocks to several women.

　　另一个妹子说她曾经收到过一块心形的石头，但是更糟糕的是当时有一个名人出轨，被曝光他曾给好几个女人送了类似的心形石头。

　　It is not that the men did not put thought into the gifts to make their women happy, but they are just clueless. Not to mention that it is hard to please women.

　　并不是男人们没有在给女人的礼物上花心思，他们只不过是笨而已。更不用说更加困难的取悦女人了。

　　One has to find the perfect balance between being expensive enough to show that you care, and not too expensive that she might wonder if he is just trying to buy his way out of something he did.

　　贵一些的礼物自然能够显示出男人很在乎你，但是便宜一些你又可能认为他在敷衍了事，因此必须要找到一个完美的平衡。

　　One also has to find the perfect balance of being romantic yet practical. This means finding something that she could really use, but also something that makes her feel wooed and that she can show her girl friends.

　　同时也还要在浪漫和实用之间找到一个完美的平衡。也就是说男人应该送她一些她真正能用到的东西，但是也要是让她觉得受到宠爱、可以用来向她的女性朋友们炫耀的东西。

　　Or, you might be lucky enough to be with someone who is sane enough to give you proper gifts, but you might still feel bothered because his ex had trained him on how to pick them out.

　　或者说你的运气足够好，已经找到了一个很聪明、会送你合适礼物的人，但是你可能还是会觉得不开心，因为教他怎么选礼物的人是他的前任。